Winter holiday memories: questions for December

The best holiday conversation starters for December ask about lights, food, music, snow, and the new year, so everyone at the table has something to say, whatever they celebrate. Below are questions for each, and a coloring hour to keep hands busy while the stories come.

Start with the lights

Almost every December tradition has a light in it. Candles in a window. A menorah, with one more flame each night of Hanukkah's eight nights. Lights on a tree or along the roof. A fire in the stove.

That's why the Story Starter on Candles and gifts works at any table: "How did your house light up for the holidays?" Its follow-ups are "Was it candles, strings of lights, or both?" and "Which did you like more: giving gifts or opening them?" A porch light counts. So does a kitchen lamp left on for someone coming home late.

The dates move around, so here they are. Christmas is Friday, December 25, and New Year's Day is Friday, January 1. Hanukkah's date changes from year to year. Kwanzaa runs from December 26 to January 1.

Questions about lights

• How did your house light up for the holidays? (Candles and gifts)
• What went on your front door for the holidays? (Holiday wreath)
• Candles, a menorah, a tree, or a lamp in the window: what lit up December at your house?
• Who lit the candles at your house?
• Which house in your town had the best lights?
• What's your favorite thing to look at on a dark winter night: candles, a fire, or the stars?

Questions about food

Food is the easy door in December. Everyone has a plate of something they waited all year for.

• What holiday treat did you look forward to most? (Stocking and ornaments)
• What's a December food that only came out once a year?
• Who did the holiday baking, and who did the tasting?
• Cookies, latkes, fruitcake, or something else: what was on the plate?
• What did the kitchen smell like in December?
• What's the best thing to drink on a cold night?

Questions about music

A music question can be hummed as easily as answered.

• Which holiday song gets stuck in your head?
• Who sang at your house in December, and what did they sing?
• Carolers at the door, a choir, or the radio: where did your holiday music come from?
• What song would you play at a winter party?
• What's a winter song you like that has nothing to do with a holiday?

Questions about snow and cold

Snow questions work even for people who grew up somewhere warm. "I never saw snow until I was grown" is a fine answer, and often the start of a good story.

• Snowmen or snowballs: which did you like better? (Mountain in the snow)
• Do you like the hush after a fresh snowfall? (Snowflakes and butterflies)
• Sled, skates, or a window seat: how did you spend a snow day?
• What did you wear to stay warm: mittens, a scarf, or a hat with a pom-pom?
• Who shoveled the walk at your house?
• What's the coldest place you ever lived, and how did you keep warm?

Questions about the new year

• How did you see the new year in: out late, at home, or asleep before midnight?
• What did your family eat on New Year's Day?
• What sound means "new year" to you: bells, horns, or pots and pans?
• What is worth waiting all winter for? (Snowdrops)
• What's one small thing you'd like more of this winter: music, visits, or sunshine?

None of these ask about "this year" or "last year." Questions about the past twelve months have a right answer, and they go stale. Questions about lights and cookies work every December.

A Seasons of Light coloring hour

Print Candles and gifts and Holiday wreath in Regular and Bold. Bold has thicker lines and fewer tiny details, easier to see and easier to finish. Let each person choose a page and a version.

1. Dim the room a little and set out battery tea lights. Let people watch them glow while they settle in.
2. Pass around a sprig of soft fir or cedar to smell.
3. Read the Story Starter for Candles and gifts once, aloud, to the whole table. Then color your own page and wait.
4. Partway through, play "The Skaters' Waltz" softly. It's a winter tune, not a holiday one, so it fits every table. It's also the music suggested with Winter swirls and butterfly.
5. Near the end, ask one more question from the lists above. Pick one that follows something someone said.
6. Ask people to sign and date the pages they like, and hang them where visitors will see them.

If someone would rather color in their own room, bring one page and one question. That's enough.

When December is tender

December can be tender. Offer the questions, and don't push. If a question finds a loss, say what you heard, plainly, and let the person choose where to go next. If they go quiet, come back to the page: "What color should the candles be?" If someone would rather just color, that's a fine afternoon too.

The Seasons of Light pack

Seasons of Light is the December pack in the Tablewell library: a wreath, stockings, candles, and the tree. Many of its pages are simply winter, too: snowflakes, a snowy cottage, a cup of cocoa, tea by a snowy window. So every person at the table can find a page that feels like theirs, whatever they celebrate. Each drawing comes in Regular and Bold, with its own Story Starter.

To try Tablewell first, the First Pack is six drawings with a Story Starter on each, free, with your organization's name on the cover.