Questions for the Thanksgiving table

The best Thanksgiving conversation starters are about the food, the table, and the people who sat around it, and each one should have no wrong answer. Here are twenty, plus a coloring hour you can run the week of the feast.

Start with the food

Food is the easiest way into Thanksgiving. Everyone has a dish they waited all year for, and nobody can get it wrong.

The Story Starter on Scarecrow and pumpkins, in the Thanksgiving Table pack, starts right there: "What's the one dish that had to be on the Thanksgiving table?" Its two follow-ups keep it going: "Who made it best?" and "Where did you sit, the grown-ups' table or the kids' table?"

Ask about the meal, not the year. "Who made the pie?" works on any day. "Do you remember last Thanksgiving?" is a test, and a test is no fun at a holiday table.

Twenty questions for the table

Read one at a time, aloud, to the whole table. The four with a drawing's name beside them are Story Starters from the pack.

The food

• What's the one dish that had to be on the Thanksgiving table? (Scarecrow and pumpkins)
• White meat or dark meat: which is yours?
• Stuffing in the bird, or baked in a pan?
• Pumpkin, apple, or pecan: which pie gets your vote?
• What's a side dish your family made that nobody else did?
• Who made the gravy, and what was their secret?

The table

• Who had to sit at the kids' table the longest?
• Who carved, and who stood close by to sneak a bite?
• How did the meal begin at your table?
• What made the table look special: a good cloth, the best dishes, or flowers?
• Who was the funniest person at the table?

The kitchen

• Who was up first on Thanksgiving morning, and what did they start?
• What job did you get in the kitchen: peeling, mashing, or staying out of the way?
• What did the kitchen smell like by noon?
• Leftovers: what's the best thing to make the next day?

The season

• Who in your family grew something every fall? (Horn of plenty)
• What's your favorite spot to get warm on a cold day? (By the fire)
• What belongs on top of hot cocoa: marshmallows or whipped cream? (Cup of cocoa)
• A game on the radio, a walk outside, or a nap: what came after the meal?
• What's a small thing you're always thankful for: a warm coat, a good cup of coffee, a letter?

Four swaps for a holiday table

Some holiday questions sound kind but work like a quiz. A small change fixes them.

• Instead of "What are you thankful for this year?" try "What's a small thing you're always thankful for?" The first asks for a big answer on the spot. The second has a hundred easy ones.
• Instead of "How many people came to dinner?" try "Who always brought a dish, and what was it?" A number has a right answer. A dish doesn't.
• Instead of "Did you cook the turkey?" try "Who was in charge of the turkey?" Yes or no ends the talk. Who starts a story.
• Instead of "Did your family have traditions?" try "What happened at your table every single year?"

A coloring hour for the week of the feast

Thanksgiving falls on Thursday, November 26. Run this any afternoon that week. It needs pages, pencils, and one basket.

Before you start, print Scarecrow and pumpkins and Horn of plenty in Regular and Bold. Bold has thicker lines and fewer tiny details, easier to see and easier to finish. Set a small gourd and an ear of dried corn in a basket, ready to pass around.

1. Hand out the pages. Let each person pick the drawing and the version. Pass the gourd and the corn while people settle in.
2. Read the Story Starter for Scarecrow and pumpkins once, aloud. Then color your own page and wait. Count to ten before you say anything else.
3. Partway through, hum "Over the River and Through the Wood" together while people color.
4. Later, ask one more question from the list. Pick one that follows something someone said. If the talk turned to pie, ask which pie gets their vote.
5. In the last ten minutes, ask people to sign and date the pages they like. Put them up where families will see them during holiday visits.

If someone would rather color in their own room, bring the same page and just one question. One page and one question is a whole visit. Leave the page with them when you go, so it's there for the next person who stops by.

If the holiday is tender

Thanksgiving can bring up people who aren't at the table anymore. If a question finds a loss, say what you heard, plainly. Then let the person choose where to go next.

If they go quiet, come back to the page: "What color should the pumpkins be?" The drawing is always a safe place to land. There's more on this in How to ask about the past without putting anyone on the spot.

What's in the Thanksgiving Table pack

Thanksgiving Table is in the Tablewell library: a horn of plenty, a scarecrow, teacups, and cocoa by the fire. Every drawing comes in Regular and Bold, with its own Story Starter, so the questions are ready when the pages are. By the fire and Cup of cocoa carry the pack past the holiday and into the first cold weeks of winter.

To try Tablewell first, the First Pack is six drawings with a Story Starter on each, free, with your organization's name on the cover.